Blood baths for lovers
by WhenIGoDown
Summary: I cried. Last night the tears streamed down, as I screamed his name, and with it I came. Tears and hatred mixed with want and need. You ruined me. You leave me here bruised and naked, screaming for your touch. Sasuke's Monologue R


Why is love so brutal? So cruel? So unjust? Everyday brings on a new misery of "is he thinking of me?" "Does he still want me?" and it hurts. Every breath… every second… every knowing moment that you aren't _together _like the happy couples walking down the street. I wish we were like that… What's so damn wrong with me that we can't be like that?

We are doing things we _hate_, to appeal to the people we _don't like_, and causing problems we _don't need_. Just so we don't appear as a couple of freaks. I guess we weren't worth much were we? Even kings and queens can't over power the will of disowning your heart to the enemy. We're birds in cages, _frighten_ and _flightless_.

Itachi, OH Itachi, you are the perfection to my life. The most imperfect perfection, you take my freedom, my happiness, and my spirit with you to who knows where ever you are. I'm left here like a rotting corpse, a shell of a human unfit to remember what joy feels like and all because you had to kill our family. Your warm wet waterfalls of love and reason **cannot **compensate for your acts of treason. Take life and with it take my knowing of what is right.

Your words, your touch, you promise me everything will be all right. You leave me every morning bruised and naked, blood drenched and crested with sweat, forever leaving that burning sensation in the core of my very being. We could run away and be together… but that's not good enough for us is it? Have to keep it a friggin secret all the time!

Do you know how many tears I've shed for Itachi? Does anyone even know? I could fill pitcher after pitcher of tears for just how many I cried for Itachi… and does he care? No. He doesn't even know does he? Why is it that I have to run to him! I don't know anymore, I just don't know. If love is this painful, why does everyone want it so bad? Does anyone realise my pain? Or am I that distant from everyone? Doesn't matter anymore. We're all messed up anyways.

How can I go on, knowing that Itachi will not be laying next to me tonight? I'll tell you how; I'll do it like I did every other night! Before I met this so called lover of mine! Don't you take pity on me; we both knew this would never work from the beginning even if it weren't what we had originally planned. Deep down inside we both knew it wouldn't work no matter what we said to each other. A simple "I love you" can't demolish these people of hatred. Who were we kidding? We can't lie like this, when they said love could concur all were they trying to get our hopes up? Or was it just some sick twisted joke? Played upon us with some kind of death threat and I know him, I know the taste of his mouth and the feeling of his touch. But even touches can't come to apologise for this _betrayal of emotions_.

It's not right to love your enemy, so I come to the conclusion that I will hate him. Because in hate there is love, a love to hate. In this hateful love I'll find him, I hate to love him as so many of my blood love to hate him. Him and I are complete polar opposites, and yet we found common ground.

He came to me, wounded and weaned off the breasts of hatred for years. I am not his protector and I am not going to lick his soft sense of self-dry. I've become too accustomed to damp pillows and quiet mornings. I degrade myself to something a little less than a human and because of this? He came to me, half filled with promises he can't keep. And I, simply wanting to love, accepted all that he gave to me. All that he had said we'd be, but I guess you forgot that I am priceless.

You can trust this cute button smile because I'll never lie to you. He is the fish I'd throw back… and for some reason as opposites we attract. I know this bugs me, but for some reason I still love him… But my intuition would never let me sleep at night, knowing I slept with the murderer of my family. But I swallowed his B S lies. I'm so young at heart that this is real cute to me, or so I should think But I know this isn't right, I mean c'mon did you think I was that stupid?

I'm starting to understand those obsessive folks **they just need** **ATTENTION**. I'm holding onto my last bit of reality before I slip into insanity. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, we were screwing our brains out just yesterday and he's already gone?

This feels like the first week of a break up… its awkward and boring and repetitive, he's more on my mind than he ever was. I keep telling myself it's alright… and it's a lie. My room reeks of his influence and I want him to come back to me but I know love can't live here anymore… we have to get away. And in the first week after he left me… alone always feels the same.


End file.
